jotekfinance
Corporal
- Messages
- 147
WOW, you actually get the money to go to your wallet first? Whats your secret?!
FxMaster
Colonel
- Messages
- 12,281
Peter Neymovic
Private, 1st Class
- Messages
- 82
The priest has died and was in the queue in front of the gates of heaven. In front of him in the queue stands a man in sunglasses, a bright shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
St. Peter asks the man: "Tell me who you were in life, so I can decide whether to let you into the kingdom of God?".
The man replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, a broker on the stock exchange in New York."
Saint Peter consults with his list. Then he smiles and says to the broker, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and come in the Gates of Paradise.
Broker goes and is the turn the priest. He stands up to his full height and blurts out: "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of the Church of St. Mary for the past 43 years."
Saint Peter consults with his list and says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the portals of Paradise."
"Wait a minute! - Says the priest - the man in front of me, was a broker, and he got a silk robe and golden staff and I, a priest, received only cotton clothes and wooden staff? How is that possible? ".
"Here we reward depending on the outcome - meets St. Peter. - When you read the sermons, people fall asleep; but as soon as people became his clients, they began to pray unceasingly to God! "
St. Peter asks the man: "Tell me who you were in life, so I can decide whether to let you into the kingdom of God?".
The man replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, a broker on the stock exchange in New York."
Saint Peter consults with his list. Then he smiles and says to the broker, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and come in the Gates of Paradise.
Broker goes and is the turn the priest. He stands up to his full height and blurts out: "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of the Church of St. Mary for the past 43 years."
Saint Peter consults with his list and says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the portals of Paradise."
"Wait a minute! - Says the priest - the man in front of me, was a broker, and he got a silk robe and golden staff and I, a priest, received only cotton clothes and wooden staff? How is that possible? ".
"Here we reward depending on the outcome - meets St. Peter. - When you read the sermons, people fall asleep; but as soon as people became his clients, they began to pray unceasingly to God! "
Peter Neymovic
Private, 1st Class
- Messages
- 82
Drunk broker in the bar calls up a luscious blonde.
- Honey, what will you answer me if I suggest you 100 bucks for a night?
- The answer is "YES".
- And what if I offer only 10 bucks?
- The answer is "NO", do you think I am a whore or smth?
- No, I just measure the spread.
- Honey, what will you answer me if I suggest you 100 bucks for a night?
- The answer is "YES".
- And what if I offer only 10 bucks?
- The answer is "NO", do you think I am a whore or smth?
- No, I just measure the spread.
Peter Neymovic
Private, 1st Class
- Messages
- 82
Phrases that frequently precede the collapse on the stock exchange:
"Stock prices have finally reached the level that they are unlikely to strikes, as here they will be a very strong support."
"All analysts can not be wrong!"
"The Dow Jones is not in danger."
"Let's hope that tomorrow the situation will improve."
"At least, worse than this can not be!"
"I believe that we have reached the bottom."
"Most likely, it's just a correction."
"The probability that it will happen, one in a million!"
"This method of analysis always works."
"Do not panic!"
"Stock prices have finally reached the level that they are unlikely to strikes, as here they will be a very strong support."
"All analysts can not be wrong!"
"The Dow Jones is not in danger."
"Let's hope that tomorrow the situation will improve."
"At least, worse than this can not be!"
"I believe that we have reached the bottom."
"Most likely, it's just a correction."
"The probability that it will happen, one in a million!"
"This method of analysis always works."
"Do not panic!"
Peter Neymovic
Private, 1st Class
- Messages
- 82
- Please do not close your position by a margin Cola, I am a former broker.
- It is for this and will close, I am a former trader.
- It is for this and will close, I am a former trader.
Peter Neymovic
Private, 1st Class
- Messages
- 82
Black humor:
In the finance company:
- I heard you have a trader hanged himself. I want to take his place.
Director:
- So you do not need me go to the director of the cemetery.
The wife asks the trader:
- My dear, We have been married for 7 years, but you have never told me what you do at work.
- You know, my dear, how would you explain ... Imagine simpler, we went to the market yesterday and bought a lot of live rabbits, and today the flood all the rabbits were drowned. And here we sit and think we did not buy fish yesterday.
In the finance company:
- I heard you have a trader hanged himself. I want to take his place.
Director:
- So you do not need me go to the director of the cemetery.
The wife asks the trader:
- My dear, We have been married for 7 years, but you have never told me what you do at work.
- You know, my dear, how would you explain ... Imagine simpler, we went to the market yesterday and bought a lot of live rabbits, and today the flood all the rabbits were drowned. And here we sit and think we did not buy fish yesterday.
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